An Exploration of Sacred Parenting and Education

Posts Tagged ‘dervesh’

Wisdom of a dervesh: lessons in the school of love

In parenting on January 12, 2012 at 10:56 pm

maktab e ishq ka dastoor nirala dekha

uskao chutee na mili jisnay sabak yaad kiya

In the school of love, strange indeed were the ways I saw

The one who had learned his lesson wasn’t given leave

– Jigar Muradabadi

Have you ever spoken to a dervesh? These are remarkable beings often hidden within society, who have washed their hands of their false selves and are in surrender to the Divine- difficult to point out or recognize-they don’t crave attention or acknowledgment but go about their work quietly.

Today I happened to speak to one. He reminded me of the lessons in the school of love. I don’t mean the sentimental emotions, shallow romanticism or what ever image we’ve been offered by the media. I mean the love that cooks our souls and makes us ripe.  This is what the Dervesh told me:

  • Children are intuition and witnessing; they will learn what see – even that which you try to hide from them
  • Children will live out, now and in later life, what you model for them
  • You may not feel love because you’re not allowing yourself to be loved
  • There can be no harm done by giving more love
  • How often do we try to mold our children to what we wished we could be-rather than support them in their journey of self-discovery
  • Children need and environment in which Love rules and is reflected in the adult relationships around them. We cause harm to our children if we put great effort in showing them that we love them, but create an environment around them that is devoid of love between ourselves and our spouses, parents, and other significant adults.
  • Give your love unconditionally to the people you love, even if you feel they are cold towards you or not reciprocating
  • Many of us are wounded children in adult forms.
  • Do you have any doubts about your love for your child? Know that your parents felt the same towards you.
  • I had a poor relationship with my father and carried resentment towards him. Now I know he was just human and I wish I could be half the man he was.